Hi, my name is Ashley and when Keithan asked me to write a post for her blog I was honoured but then weeks went by and I realized I have bad mom brain and forgot but I am happy to be sitting down writing this now while my baby girl who just recently made me a mom chews on her hand in her bouncer.
My little girl is now three whole months and oh how my life has changed having a newborn. I am a postpartum nurse at a hospital and even though that may make it sound like I have experience; it is a whole different challenge when it is your own baby. I love being a mom, I always wanted to be a mom and now I am lucky enough to have this little peanut who brings so much joy and lots of laundry! My fiancé works during the day so it’s just me, my daughter and the fur baby a lot of the time. I must admit the first two weeks are a complete blur, between the nightmare of learning to breastfeed, lack of sleep, the visitors in and out and my lady bits being tender and sore I don’t really remember it in great detail. But once that was over it set in that this is going to be the best chapter of my life.
It’s difficult getting used to the constant mess…the house, the car, your outfit, her outfit whether its poop stains, vomit, your partners dishes, the dog tracking mud through the house, its like living in a constant tornado! A lot of the time if feels like every day is the same. Feed, nap, clean, feed, play, nap.. but because I get cabin fever, I started going out every other day just to get fresh air and a change of environment. This really helped me even if it was walking around the mall or getting a coffee at Starbucks and going for a little drive. There may be a lot to pack, unlike before when I could grab my wallet and go but once I am out, I feel more like myself because I was always a busy body so staying in on the couch doesn’t work for me. I am blessed because my baby also likes these outings, so it does make it easier because there usually isn’t too much crying involved. I know this doesn’t sound wonderful but to me it’s like hanging with your best friend every day. I have a mommy’s girl on my hands right now so as long as she knows I’m there we are safe.
Watching her grow and change every day is really magical. When she smiles and her eyes light up, my heart melts. I’m sure most moms agree. Before a baby I did have an outgoing social life and now everything is a little more low key and that’s okay. My friendships have changed, conversations have changed and the amount of wine I can drink in one evening has definitely changed but it’s worth it. I couldn’t imagine my life without her now and a lot of the things I did before her seem insignificant, making her was my life’s greatest work. It’s amazing what the body can do and it’s even more amazing what a strong bond there can be between a mother and her child. I read a lot of mom blogs and articles and I have to admit I googled a lot more than I was hoping too and it all has a lot in common, we are all seeing if we are doing this parenting thing remotely right and we all have different ways and what works for one might not work for another but we are doing our best. I thought I would struggle more than I am and that in itself is a victory, I’m stronger than my mind thinks I am. Sometimes my hormones get the best of me and I let out a cry but other days I feel like I might actually raise this tiny human to be a smart, kind person.
Before becoming a mom I had an idea of how things might go but was I ever wrong. I have a new appreciation for every mom out there and for anyone becoming a mom soon. For those of you wanting to be a mom someday just know the importance of not being to judgmental, trust me you will appreciate it one day. It has to be one of the toughest jobs in the world especially because there are no breaks, no days off and no real vacations but it is the most rewarding and one that I will never ever quit.