Being a Mom has made me a better person – I am grateful!


3 min read


I genuinely think I was always a good person who always tried to do the right thing. However, the fact is I made a lot of mistakes and had a lot of traits that needed to be improved. The fact that I am even admitting that is a testament to the growth I have experienced as an individual.

Perhaps a lot of these improvements have come about because I am an older more mature person now, but I think most of these new better traits have come because I am now a mom. Having kids makes you experience a love that is unimaginable at-least it was that way for me. To carry a life for so many months and then finally have it out into your arms, honestly feels like love literally in your arms. I always say my husband softened me up, but my kids have turned me into mush!  

I have always been a little hardened and reserved with my heart, like it was something I had to protect immensely. I was this way with everyone! No-one could truly get close to me and I liked it that way. Not friends NO-ONE! In fact, I always saw it like I don’t really need friends. That probably has to with me being a bit of an introvert or growing up in a single parent household. Maybe it has do with the fact that my mother is also quite reserved with her heart. Maybe it was because I saw my aunt who was intelligent, loving, lovely and beautiful stay in an abusive relationship until her untimely death.  I am sure it was a combination of many things. But the fact was, I never wanted someone to have power over my emotions. I had 'friends' but even my friends didn't know much about me which is a major trait of people like myself. We know all of your stories but you don't really know any of ours, which could actually make us seem like good friends - but the fact is we don't trust you enough to share any of ours.

 But the day I held my son in my arms is the day my heart broke for the better.

The thing that I’ve noticed about people like myself is that their hearts are like stones because they are actually very sensitive people. 

 I still don’t believe that everyone should or needs to be my friend or know all my business. But, where I’ve changed now, is that I definitely care about my friendships. If the people that I really believe are my friends today, didn’t want to be my friends anymore – that would hurt me.

It sounds funny, but in the past that would never hurt me, because I would never allow myself to care about another person enough. This in turn sort of made me a bad friend. Sorry to those who needed me to be a better friend and I wasn’t. I still struggle sometimes – but the fact is I am a work in progress.

 

 So, ways in which Motherhood has made me a better person:


  • I genuinely care about my relationships with people. Which has made me a kinder individual.
  • I have way more empathy for people than I used to. Being a mom surely does humble you because you instantly become the subject of criticism/judgment. Everyone wants to show you the better way to do things and if your kids aren’t acting and doing everything perfectly, trust me when I say someone will be right there to narrate your downfall.
  • I think I actually care more about people in a more individualistic way now. I’ve always cared about people in general terms and was always somewhat understanding but still too judgmental. Now, I am more thoughtful about people’s feelings and emotional people don’t turn me off the way they used to. ( I used to hate to be around emotional people). Now, when I give advice, I never tell people how to feel. My general thought is that your feelings are yours to have and only you have control of that, so telling someone how to feel is just counterproductive and not the sign of a good support system.
  • On the practical side of things, I have better time management skills. Yes, when you have a child to take care of plus your other responsibilities in life you must improve on that skill or you will just drown in all of your tasks. P.s. this is a skill that I was seriously lacking in the past! Everyone needs you and they don’t care if you’ve eaten or taken a shower OR need to PEE. 
  • I am more purposeful in my actions. This also goes with number 4. Because I rarely have any down time, I make all my time count for something. Before I just used to Netflix and watch the day go by sometimes. While that sounds nice and all, I low-key hated how unproductive I was. Now, I do art, write and read things that truly interests me in my downtime. These are all personal hobbies of mine and most importantly are not mindless activities.
  • I am a much happier person now. It feels good to be needed and hold an important role in life. I am also genuinely happy of what me and my husband have built as a family and that the smile on my face is not a facade. Right now, I am in a sunny part of my life and I am going to soak it all in, because I know rainy days are ahead. When it's raining and pouring it's hard to remember what sunny times are like so  it's important to mindfully enjoy the sunny times so you have a point of reference


How has being a Parent changed you?

-Keithan

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