I think many mothers like myself think about how we will help our kids navigate the world ahead of them. With all we are seeing in the news right we know that not seeing colour is a dangerous farce especially for raising a child of colour. I acknowledge that this can be especially hard for single parents of biracial children whose kids do not look like them. They are part of two cultures and two races. We know race is a social construct but unfortunately it is upheld by the society we currently live in. This list can also apply to parents of adoptive kids of colour.
1. Make sure that you are watching programming where the main leads look like them. Not just the best friend. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT THE MAIN LEAD LOOKS LIKE THEM!
2. Make sure that you are reading books with people that look like them. All types of books - down to their math and science books. THEY NEED TO BELEIVE THAT SMART PEOPLE LOOK LIKE THEM!
3. Make sure that they watch programs where the parents sort of mimic their parents at home in terms of race. Sesame Street is great to watch because they have lots of different family structures and races while being educational.
4. Teach them to enjoy both their parents cutures. Play them music, sing songs, dance and watch t.v shows in both their parents native languages.
5. Speak kindly about both cultures.
6. Talk to them about their features and how they are beautifully reflected in their parents. If this is for your adoptive child (just focus on how beautiful each of their features are)
7. Let them know that they are one of your favourite people in the whole wide world. Try to shower all your words with love so that they may have the confidence to always love themselves.
8. When/if (hoping better for the future) the day comes that someone make an aweful remark to your child about the way they look. Deal with it head on. Do not just tell them to not think about it ...they will think about it. Walk them through their feeling and show them to proud of the things people may make fun of them for because loving themselves is a superpower.
9. Go through some of your implicit biases. Work on unlearning the horrible lessons you were taught as a child such as 'good hair' or 'too dark' .... Teach them better by teaching yourself better.
10. If you are married display the love you have for each other actively so that they see what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like and that people like them deserve to be loved. If you are a single parent whose child doesn't look like you, try to emphasize that you did love your partner at one time.