Let’s be honest, she’s also seen your kid’s bad ways and she doesn’t want her kids to be like that for sure! Not to mention the awful kids at the mall and the adults with all their mommy issues.
I mean no offense, she loves how sweet your kids are but you know they watch way too much telivision, are still being potty trained and still aren’t sleeping through the night! Plus, they are still sleeping in the same bed as you…gaSHP!!
It’s not a competition, honestly. She is trying very hard not to compare her kid to others but damn it’s hard. She just wants to make sure her kid hits those mild stones exactly on time but earlier wouldn’t hurt either. Seeing your kid do the thing she is striving for faster, easier and better just adds to her insecurity.
So don’t be offended when you notice she is just asking questions to see where your kid is in comparison to her kid. She really is just trying to have her child not suffer because of something she did wrong. She is a good ally in reality even though her behavior can sometimes be slightly embarrassing (her insane fear of bacteria touching her kid may mean that you have to watch her clean every surface that her child may come in contact with before you can order anything to fill your grumbling tummy). But she is the mommy with tonnes of information to make your life easier , plus, if you need an extra anything she’s probably got it for sure plus all the activity registration dates saved on her phone.
I truly believe that it’s better to have a mom that cares too much for her kids than a mom who doesn’t care at all. Or a mom who refuses to put effort in the upbringing of her kids. Your children need and deserve your best efforts so why make fun of her for putting in more effort than you.
It's important to give her the time and space to grow into the parent she really wants to be. Respect the choices she has made for baby even if you don't necessarily agree with them as long as it is not endangering the child.
She cares so much for her child that she is doing everything in her power to do what she has determined is right for child. Even if it means checking up with researched articles daily to verify common sense things.
Acknowledge that there is so much research and topics that she is confronted with continuously as a mom, that even she can’t keep up. And while the answer to her situation may seem obvious to you, don’t pressure her into doing what you suggest. Most importantly, show her that you respect her and don’t forget to remind her that you see that she is doing a great job.